Should you care about how others see you?
September 13, 2021 at 7:47 am #71234OzoemenaParticipantRank: Gallant Sojourner::
I saw this post on a QUORA space and I feel we would find it an interesting read!
This is an answer to the question Do you care about how others see you? by
We will never know how others see us. Ever. Even if they tell us..we won’t know. We live in our head and our body only. We dont live as someone else. We will never see ourselves from another person’s perspective. Given that…I don’t care what others think of me. What others think of me is non of my business. If it was my business…I could see myself through another’s eyes…but I don’t and I can’t. Nothing will ever change this.
Would it surprise you to know that rarely are people thinking about us? Not because we aren’t important; but because people only stand center stage in their own life. We see through our own eyes, hear our internal dialogue, and breathe and move with our own bodies. No one else’s. Most of the time we are thinking about ourselves. Our goals and our dreams. Our activities. And we never cry out of another’s eyes. People are too busy thinking about themselves; to really bother to think of us. It’s the human condition. It’s not good or bad. It just is. So…the next time you wonder what another thinks of you…well chances are they aren’t. I am a mother. I am a wonderful mother. I am a wife. I am a wonderful wife. And I am usually thinking of myself. Of people I think of the most…my son and husband…only about 25% of my time I may be thinking about them. Even when I’m talking to them. I’m only listening If they say something I find interesting or disagree with. And many times I’m not even thinking about them at that time. Every thought I have…revolves around me. This seems so selfish. And it may be. The thing is we all are this way. Unless…something tragic has happened to our children and then we hate ourselves…we never stop thinking about our children then. I have been a social worker over 30 years. And I have observed most people come back from the loss of anyone OTHER then a child. We never think of anything else again. There is something about parental love (not all but the vast majority) that transcends us to truly think of our children. And when we lose our child…we are never the same. Every thought is our wish to go back in time and change the moment they were taken away from us.
What others think of us is non of our business. What we think of ourselves? Now that’s the important question. We even think of ourselves when we tell someone we will pray for them. We generally do it right away or we will forget. Simply because we live only as ourselves…I have to reiterate this to say that parents…we think of our children many many many many many many of our moments…other people? Not so much. We simply can’t. I can’t survive if I don’t keep myself center stage…none of us can. So…maybe this answer will help release your from worrying about the gaze of the other. When we look at others we generally aren’t even thinking of them. I will challenge you to dig deep and write out what you think of you. This you always have access to.
Think about it.
let’s hear your thoughts.
Thanks.September 13, 2021 at 7:59 am #71235
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